Fresh Off The Boat is an ABC sitcom that follows the life of an Asian-American family set in the 90's that is genuinely such a good show that has provided a handful of really important, powerful episodes throughout its four seasons so far. Most recently, the show creators decided to incorporate an LGBT storyline within their show, through one of the neighbors and Eddie's first crush back in season one, Nicole. At the start of season four, Nicole came out to Eddie as gay. Last tuesday, Nicole had the spotlight of the show as she struggled with figuring out how to come out to her father. Buckle up; this is gonna get wordy.
While Honey, Jessica, and Marvin all processed Nicole's coming out differently and some reactions were better than others, they were all real and genuine reactions and receptions to Nicole's news. The show accurately portrayed ways in which people can process others coming out but all come to the same conclusion: acceptance. Some people are immediately understanding, like Honey. Some need some teaching and guidance, like Jessica. And some need time to process or to form the right words, like Marvin. The show emphasizes that nothing about Nicole has changed, that she is the same person she has always been. Such a positive coming out experience is important to show on television, and Fresh Off The Boat achieved it this week while still being educational, realistic, and showing awareness of how coming out can sometimes go wrong. And while being a comedy.
As a fan of the show, I was waiting for Nicole's story to be taken farther than just confiding in Eddie, and I was so relieved even after watching just the opening scene to this week's episode. I knew right away that they were going to give Nicole the story she deserved to have and that they were going to take this coming out narrative seriously. I'm going to be honest and say that the opening scene brought me to tears the first and second and third time watching it. And while I can't do it justice, I am going to summarize the scene for you, but here's a link to a ripped video on Tumblr in case you want to watch it (warning for low quality).
A running gag of the show is that Eddie's mother, Jessica (Who is played by the amazing Constance Wu), frequents the local lesbian bar called the Denim Turtle, all while having no clue that it is a lesbian bar. Honey, Nicole's stepmother, is sat with Jessica at the bar when Nicole suddenly walks in. Nicole, a sophomore in high school, attempts the excuse that she loves alcohol, and then just admits to wanting to join the bar's local softball team. Honey asks her how she even knows about the Denim Turtle, and Nicole decides it's time to tell her the truth. As soon as Nicole says, "I need to talk to you," the entire bar goes silent. Deb, the bartender, says, "Kristen, get that bottle of champagne. Barb, get that cot ready in the back. We gotta be prepared for this to go either way." Honey hugs Nicole after her coming out, and the whole bar celebrates. It is such an emotional, powerful scene and I think it was done so beautifully. The immediate support from the fellow lesbians in the bar shows that they clearly have had to take in youths before for being rejected by their family, and you can see in all of their facial expressions and body language that they feel for Nicole in a way only other LGBT can in a situation like that, because they are so familiar with the fear and anxiety that she is feeling. The celebration is accompanied with the jukebox playing Melissa Etheridge's "Come to My Window," a well-known lesbian anthem. Especially when set in the 90's, a coming out narrative that ends with acceptance is so important to see. And this is all just within the first two minutes of the episode.
Another aspect of the episode is Jessica's learning of LGBT topics and acceptance. Being Taiwanese and an immigrant, it makes sense for her character to not quite understand what it means to be homosexual. She is confused after Nicole comes out, claiming only men can be gay, and is shocked to find out that "it can go the girl way." After the initial shock, she is pretty accepting of her identity, but is still shocked that she doesn't feel attracted to any men (not even Patrick Swayze or Denzel Washington). She also doesn't think it's a big deal for Nicole to tell her father, Marvin, that she's a lesbian. Honey and Nicole quickly explain to her that it's not that easy, and Jessica agrees to keep quiet until Nicole is ready to come out to anyone else. However, due to a communication error, Jessica accidentally outs Nicole to Marvin. She immediately recognizes the gravity of what she did, apologizes to Nicole, and does her best to make up for it. This part of the story emphasizes the importance of letting people come out on their own terms. I especially resonate with this, because this was not a luxury I got to enjoy either with my family.
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Nicole's attempt to come out to her father doesn't go too smoothly at first, as Marvin foolishly makes a pun that the only team Nicole better be playing for is the lesbian's softball team. Nicole chickens out of telling him a few times after that, which leads to Jessica accidentally outing her. Marvin confronts Nicole, but ends up walking away without saying how he feels about the situation. Nicole takes this as a rejection, but eventually Marvin stops her mid-game to tell her that he accepts her, that he's only mad at himself for making the joke because it didn't truly represent his values, and that she'll always be his princess.
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While Honey, Jessica, and Marvin all processed Nicole's coming out differently and some reactions were better than others, they were all real and genuine reactions and receptions to Nicole's news. The show accurately portrayed ways in which people can process others coming out but all come to the same conclusion: acceptance. Some people are immediately understanding, like Honey. Some need some teaching and guidance, like Jessica. And some need time to process or to form the right words, like Marvin. The show emphasizes that nothing about Nicole has changed, that she is the same person she has always been. Such a positive coming out experience is important to show on television, and Fresh Off The Boat achieved it this week while still being educational, realistic, and showing awareness of how coming out can sometimes go wrong. And while being a comedy.
If any of you have not caught on to how amazing this show is yet, all seasons are currently on Hulu are definitely worth the watch!
I know that you have told me before that I should check this out, I still need to, it sounds pretty good. I think that it's awkward sometimes for us old/straight parents to understand the right way to handle sexuality and our children. You want to ask, you want to be there, but you also want to give them the space to come out on their own terms, like you pointed out you didn't get the luxury of. It's really good to see these things modeled so that it's out there. I think there are parents who are ignorant because they want to be ignorant because of whatever ideology, and then I think there are parents who just don't know and haven't made the effort to know, and then little Bobby says he's gay and they handle it completely wrong. Hopefully shows like this start to discourage more of the latter.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely worth the watch-- this isn't the only important topic this show has covered, but it was just one that stood out to me in particular because I'm queer. You're right though; a lot of parents, whether accepting or not, do not know how to handle their kids coming out to them. Even when they want to do the right thing, they can end up doing the wrong thing, such as outing their kid or being even more overprotective about their kid dating. For me, my mom essentially outed me to the entire extended family. While no one was UNsupportive, it still sucked that I didn't get a say in how (OR IF) I came out to everyone-- and I was already an adult at this point. I think a lot of parents struggle with wanting to be there for their kids but also wanting to give their kids the space they need, but it can be especially difficult to navigate this when the kid is LGBT and the parent is uninformed. Perhaps shows like FotB can help shed some light for both sides (parents and the kid) on sexuality and coming out, as well as even directly sparking discussions like this between families who watch the show together.
DeleteI've never watched this show but I've seen some scenes so i really want to now. Its funny because my last post was actually about a coming out storyline as well and its good to see multiple shows doing this justice. I also think its interesting that they chose a fairly feminine person to represent this. This has always meant a lot to me because it feels like the only accepted lesbian is a masculine one. There also the factor that this is mostly labeled a family show ,so its good that we're moving off from late night television only. Hopefully characters start to represent populations more in the future and its awesome they're starting now.
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