I am not the most confident person, but I definitely wouldn't go as far to say I'm an insecure person. I'm not particularly critical of the way I look, nor is there anything that I absolutely can't stand about my appearance.
That being said, I really don't like my nose. My relationship with my nose has always been one of contention and conflict, and it's always been very personal. No one else has ever commented on my nose in any way remotely close to mockery or criticism. No one else notices what I view as problematic or unattractive. Mostly, I'm just unhappy with the bump (dorsal hump) down the bridge, and I think the tip of my nose looks weird when I smile too wide. Whenever I take a selfie, my focus is almost always on making sure my nose doesn't look weird from that angle. While my glasses help hide the bump in my nose and make me feel more confident about my nose in general, I still find myself feeling like it is such a problem that it requires a medical procedure to fix. I still find myself defending this desire to have rhinoplasty both to myself as well as to those who react in shock when they find out this is something that I want. I've said, "Oh, well it's only about six grand, so it's not completely unrealistic," or, "So many people have gotten nose jobs, especially in today's society where it's acceptable to change things you don't like about yourself! So why can't I?"
But I wasn't asking the right question: why should I?
Yes, I may want a nose job. However, here is why I won't be getting one:
Ultimately, I allowed myself to believe that it would be acceptable to subject myself to such a serious medical procedure for such a minor insecurity because of the nonchalant treatment of cosmetic surgery in the media.
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Most notably, I have seen a growing number of social media posts about and usually in favor of cosmetic surgery. In the weird, online world where you will see judgement and even hate on celebrities and social media influencers such as Megan Fox or more recently Kylie Jenner, you will simultaneously see memes about a nose job that's not even yours having changed your life.
How is this supposed to make us feel? If I, at 21, feel flummoxed by this strange dichotomy of acceptable plastic surgery and unacceptable plastic surgery, I cannot begin to imagine how confused and conflicted younger girls— ones who are currently growing up with social media as a major influence on beauty standards— might feel.
What's even more concerning is the fact that there are role models of many young girls that are having procedures done and then denying it. I think, while they have the right to make these changes to their bodies, they have to understand that they are contributing to an unhealthy ideological view of cosmetic surgery by not speaking about the realities of these types of procedures. Some Disney stars such as Dove Cameron and Bella Thorne seem to have even had work done when under the age of 18, and it would be irresponsible of them to think their choices don't influence young viewers. The first time I thought about the potential of getting a nose job, I was about fourteen. How did I know about plastic surgery? The media. With social media in the mix now, there's no way there aren't young girls already wanting nose jobs and lip fillers. Obviously, there is much more at play than just these young celebrities deciding for themselves (i.e. Hollywood, producers, publicists, managers, and parents), but where else is the change going to start?
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Now, I'm not saying that plastic surgery is inherently wrong, but I think it's important to be honest and up front about the realities of it. It shouldn't be glamorized as a solution to one's problems. If someone gets works done, they shouldn't feel shame for having done it and they shouldn't feel the need to be secretive about it. If anyone is going to have plastic surgery, it shouldn't develop into an unhealthy relationship.
In my research for this post, I came across two very different stories about nose jobs from two different youtubers, Blair Fowler and Gabbie Hanna. I thought it was interesting that they have very different experiences and outlooks on plastic surgery and even on the idea of reinventing oneself. I'll include both videos, but both are quite long, so I will also summarize the main points I was able to take away from them.
First, Blair's video:
In 2016, Blair had revision rhinoplasty to correct her first, botched nose job— one she got when she was 17. Most of her story involves her describing the procedure and explaining the complications that occurred due to how much cartilage was missing because of the first nose job. Her original surgeon even removed her turbinates without her knowing, which ended up causing health problems with her sinuses since. In the revision surgery, Blair had tissue removed from her scalp, cartilage and bone removed from her ribs, and even more cartilage removed from her ear to help construct her new nose. Blair admits to regretting the nose job at 17 and stresses how important it is to do your research on procedures and surgeons before having something so permanent done. I think it was pretty brave of her to open up about such a personal thing in order for it to be a learning experience for others.
Next, Gabbie's video:
Gabbie recently had a very different experience with the procedure she chose to have done on her nose. She did research and found that her issue with her nose could be fixed with fillers rather than surgery. She stressed that she didn't want a different, or less ethnic, or smaller nose. She just wanted her right side to be even with her left side, as the right side was caved in and looked different in profile shots. And while Gabbie did encourage viewers to make changes to their lives to make themselves more comfortable with who they are or how they look, she managed to make it less about the procedure and more about the acceptance of oneself. Earlier this year, she had started this journey of reinvention for herself that started with her getting serious about her mental and physical health. She then went on to cut and dye her hair, pierce her nose, and add more piercings to her ears. I think this is important context to her also getting her nose done, because it takes away the notion that a nose job was the solution to all her problems.
Despite what all these makeover shows, memes, social media influencers, and celebrities try to teach us, remember that a makeover does not have the power to change your life. You do.
Rachel, I definitely agree with the point you made about being honest about the realities of plastic surgery. Many of the shows I see today talk about rhinoplasty and other types of plastic surgery as easy to do without talking about the potential problems that can happen, even if you get the results that you wanted. I’m also glad that the reasons that you want surgery is for yourself, rather than the expectations of others around you.
ReplyDeletePersonally, most of the knowledge about the realities of plastic surgery that I have comes from my mom. When she was in high school, she had a breast reduction done. From what she has told me over the years, the reason she did the surgery was only partially because of physical discomfort caused by her breast size, the main reason was because of social discomfort caused by her peers. The boys in her school constantly objectified her, and the girls would get mad at her for 'forcing' their boyfriends to look away from them.
Now personally I think that is something important to talk about, that my mom had to change herself instead of society, but that isn’t what I want to comment on at this moment. My mom had her surgery and she was happier for it. She didn’t regret having the procedure done for years after, not until she had children. Part of the surgery was after her breasts were reduced in size, her nipples on each breast were relocated to be more central with her new size, but that meant she wasn’t able to breastfeed me and later my brother. My mom had no regrets about her surgery, it improved her quality of life and let her feel like a person again instead of a set of walking boobs on a stick, her words, but as a mother she was sad that she didn’t have the opportunity to breastfeed me and my brother.
Growing up I never felt the same pressures my mom did, but I think part of that was because from the time I hit puberty on my mom was always honest with me about her experience. She made sure I knew that if I ever felt surgery was necessary then I had the option for it. Just knowing that the option was available was enough for me, even if I never took her up on that offer.
I think I know where you're getting at. So what you're saying is that plastic surgery should not be done for the sake of others, but to better oneself, or as to correct what they perceive as genuine flaws, such as the example with the asymmetrical nose. I do agree with the gist of it, I think it gets more complicated in that how does one separate external influences from internal? I suppose the whole world could tell someone that they don't need x surgery but if they feel as though they need it, then that should be the end all. But it's never that cut-n-dry. But I'm probably regurgitating what you said in a different format. I think what is to take home is that whatever sits right in your heart is what you should go with.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this because as a mother, your body changes so much, and there have been many times when I have definitely questioned surgery options and come to kind of the same dilemma as you. And it's the same with me as well, as far as no one is telling me I need anything - but, of course, we all wonder how much better we would feel if we could "fix" the things that bother us. I have a friend who has had a few plastic surgery procedures, and she always says it is no different than getting braces to fix the teeth you don't like, that it is about feeling good about yourself. As has been pointed out in class, this is saying that we need to "fix" ourselves instead of society fixing itself not to be jerks, but everyone knows that it is hard to "be the change you want to see." It's a dilemma for sure.
ReplyDeleteSo I have to add that about twelve years ago or so, back when I was dating my husband, his nose was badly broken in a mandatory game of football (back when he was in the Army, unit stuff). He still has major issues with it, and can barely smell. At any rate, he has had not one, but two, nose surgeries for the resulting deviated septum. My aunt had the same surgery when I was a kid, and used it as an opportunity to fix the nose she didn't like - apparently it's easy to fix your nose during this, and many people do. My husband is amazing and handsome and I love him to death, but he does have quite a nose on him. I think it fits him perfectly, but I still was very glad to see my nose on our daughter when she was born. Anyway, I think it's pretty telling what the gender norms are on cosmetic surgery that my husband's biggest concern in his two surgeries was that they might change his nose to look different than it always had. He said he would have never heard the end of it at work. Can you imagine women getting to a day where we are more embarrassed about anyone thinking we want surgery than we are concerned about how (insert body part) looks?
Wrapping it up, I just want to share this link, incase you haven't seen it before: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/global-beauty-standards?utm_term=.ms1YBom8ob#.wcgy1X84XB I love this because I think it is really important to remember that what is deemed beautiful is so often a result of culture, so it can be changed, and this is great evidence of that. Plus it's fun to look at!
Is there anything more American than a little girl wanting a nose job? I definitely was one, and it took me a long time to convince myself that I like my nose. I grew up with the typical, German looking nose, a large hump and pronounced tip, and I always hated it. When I saw my profile I thought I just looked disgusting. I remember being in 5th grade deciding that I would, one day, get a nose job. Then, around the middle of high school, I started getting into body positive twitter, and I realized I love my nose. It’s not nearly as big as I see it in my head, and it gives me a distinguished look. After getting it pierced, and putting my “imperfect” nose on display with jewelry, I love it even more. I’m happy that I have this big nose, I wear it and breathe through it well.
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